I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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