You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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