I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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