She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
