What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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