She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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