I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
