Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize