Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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