Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
