Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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