do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
