Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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