Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
