sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
