also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
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I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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