It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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