Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
