More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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