Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
