No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
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I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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