69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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