im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
