I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
