is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
