he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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