Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
