First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
