hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
