There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
