i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
