omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize