butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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