i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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