come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
did i just pee glitter
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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