That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
