Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
