Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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