U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So squirting runs in the family.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
