Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants