She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
