It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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