you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We named our party play list daddy issues
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
