How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
