we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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