Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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