I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm too high and old for this...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
