shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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