You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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