so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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