his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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