I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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