The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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