RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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