He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
