it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
