But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
