I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
